UPDATE

-got myself a boy, name is Cameron, he turned 16 two days after we started dating, which was 12/04/08 <3 He is a fantastic boyfriend. He treats me right and i know he truly cares about me. Right before we started dating, we found out that we used to hang out when we were younger, and that just brought us closer together. I am so happy with him, and i AM going to make this work.

- got hit in the face with a rock, had to go to the hospital for the very first time, and got stitches. I was at Cameron's birthday party, and someone threw a rock at my face. I think i got... 6 stitches. I got to Cameron's party with Jessica around 8:30. I got hit in the face with the rock around 9:00. I got picked up by my mother around 9:45. and got to the hospital around 10:30. I had to sit around and i finally left, with stitches in my chin, and 2:30 am. I had never been in the Emergency Room and it was scary there. There was an old man puking up black stuff, and there was a guy who's whole shirt was covered in blood and there was also this one girl who came running in screaming cause she got bit by a dog.
- The 1st semester of school is about to end.
- North Carolina was not that much fun, but it was alright, it was SUPER DUPER cold.
- I want a Ipod Touch and a Laptop for Christmas.
- Cameron is in the Hospital because he ran through a glass door, broke his leg, cut the nerve that makes his foot work, and got a gash in his head. He has been in there since monday, and is leaving Friday, maybe. I have gone to see him every day after school.
- My BESTESTESTESTEST friend in the whole wide world is JESSICA <3
- Chelsea got her car but does not drive me around very much.

THE END
for now

off to north carolina

i cant wait <3 its going to be so much fun.
im just going to clear my mind :]


<345

ever have them days

were you just feel so... unwelcome and unloved. you feel like no matter what you do, its not good enough; no matter how much make up you put on, you just don't cut it. You feel like everyone is talking badly about you. Everyone thinks your stupid or ugly. Everyone is disappointed in you for one reason or another. I think the worst feeling on these kinds of days, or on any day to be truthful, is when you KNOW someone thinks their too good for you. They don't want to be associated with you. like you worthless compared to you.


I have been having those days a lot lately.

ohp! forgot one

okay
- travis will tell me he has to get off THEN gets on either later on.
or just signs off aim and just talks to people on myspace
LIKE I DONT KNOW HE IS ON

mr. man

k,so travis has done little things alot lately that have just pissed me off.
and an overall not very good boyfriend...
i guess im dealing with it though.
and i cant complain cause we have "only been dating 2 weeks" he says.
so i just have to deal with his shit until i can complain and make him a better boy to me.
im like 5th on his top.
he never complements me or comments my pictures.
he never trys to like contact me, just whenever we are both on, we talk.
he doesnt put an effort to see me.
ill tell him i love him and he wont say it back (thats understandable but still)
i wrote him a letter and told him to write one back and he didnt

idk just little things like that have really been pissing me off.

okay lie, i know

yes i know i have not written something everyday
myspace has eaten my soul XD

So, no i did not go to the fair saturday, but i did go on monday,
and it was AMAZING.
i got to hang out with all my friends and Travis <3

BAD PART- lani and abby tried to spit on me and spit on travis instead XD lol

Im going to have a pretty good weekend.
im hanging out with the group all weekend!

group? oh wouldnt you just love to know :]
-Jessica -Raven -Shelby - Jacob
-Chris - Travis - Henry - Alex
(are in groups by who they are dating, no, alex and jacob are not dating, they are just losers and dont have girlfriends)

Today i worked ALL day on my Cathrine called birdy book
IT IS SO LAME- just as a side note!

i am absolutely in love with my profile as it is right now!
i think it is beautiful and i never want to change it! :]

My Next Weekend

Will be amazing :]

On Friday, i will be going to the Hollywood Undead show with all my friends
On Saturday, im going to the Fair with Travis
On Sunday, Probably nothing

im back and ready

TO WRITE ;]
now that im allowed on the computer.
this is going to be an ALMOST daily thing :]
get ready for raven finch

PAINT

i painted my room and i absolutely LOVE the color. and i am so happy to have it changed from that UGLY pink.
One bad thing-- it reminds me of aj...since he helps me paint it, and that makes me REALLY sad....


I wish i still had that beautiful boy

The Wigglers

Missions--
A) save Robbie and Kyle from Adam Sandler!
B) Paint all of our finger scales black!

Names--
Raven- Shanana
Chelsea- Peter
Cassie- Love to the Heart


Poisons Page--
1) JUICE!
100 drops of lemon juice
2 pinches of sugar/brown sugar
1/2 of a scoop of gaterade powder

2) MONSTER COOKIE
flower
egg
coco powder
gaterade powder
Strawberry smoothie
coconut milk
tiny amount of lemon juice


Car--
Shopping cart
Pink Silver and Black

in the end

he didnt really love me

What I miss about you

- i miss smiling after everything you said
- i miss when you looked me in the eyes and told me you loved me
- i miss your soft hands holding mine
- i miss your yummy lips against mine
- i miss talking to you until 2 in the morning
- i miss seeing your smile
- i miss you trying to beat me at mercy
- i miss you thinking your a faster swimmer then me
- i miss your hugs
- i miss sitting close to you and copying everything Forrest Gump says
- i miss when you would tickle me
- i miss putting sunscreen on your back (poorly)
- i miss listening to my ipod and you telling me my music sucks
- i miss trying to give you belly busters
- i miss walking down to the park with you and being bored
- i miss playing with the word magnets with you
- i miss the feeling i would get when you told me you loved me
<3 I Just Miss You <3

Nevermind

its over

AJ 6/16/08

I began dating this boy on June 16th 2008
His name is AJ Tullos, Alexander James Tullos. He is 16 and he goes to Florida High. I didn't meet him at Florida High, I met him through friends that I had met at Florida High. He is an amazing person and I really love him. I know I'm probably jinxing myself by typing all this because thats what I did for Nathan, and you see where that got me. But I really care about AJ and I hope he cares about me too.

STLman89: you attarctive.. your fun to be around like when we hangout its not the same shit over and over again.
and your sweet.. always give me complaments u make me laugh your cute expersions on your face. when your upset or want something.. and your eyes just draw me in to you

The Day of 30

Today, Laura came over at 9:30 and we made a video. A disgusting video, what we tried to do was make a video of our cooking show and we would make something gross, but we didnt know it would be so gross we would be gagging. so we buried it in the front yard and video taped it. HERE IT IS <3 After that, we watched music videos and played a LONNNGGGGG game of monopoly. after that, we played a game of Knowledge. After that we played some poker and then made bracelets with each others initials on them. I got a necklace with LMJ and she has an anklet with RIF on it. After that we watched some movie with chelsea. Then went to swim practice, Laura watched me and i worked my bootay offed.

Poems from a while ago

Memories
I’m thinking of the memories
In which we used to share

I can only think of the memories
As we were when we were a pair

I hope I don’t sound obsessive
That’s the farthest of what I want to be

I just want to tell you these things
I wish that you would see

I wish you had not lied
I might still be at your side

But in the end
We will just pend

You think my heart can bend

This Life
I cannot tell
If this is hell
Is this life?
I need a knife
I need to be repaired
I’m scared
Nothing can change
The way I feel
How do I deal?
With this
I need bliss
I miss that kiss
That made me feel the way I did
I’m just a kid
Compared to you
Are we through?
All those times we had
Its all gone bad
I can not tell
If this is hell
Is this life?
I need a knife
I need to be repaired
I’m scared

Its like a Chant
I will never forget you
You’re my amazing baby boo
I’m going to miss you too
What will I ever do?
Not being with you
I wish we could be
Together, you see
Just you and me
Be we cant
It’s like a chant
Going over and over
In my head
I need to get to bed
It’s impossible to sleep
I want you to keep
I’m in too steep
I feel like I should die
I keep asking why
It’s like a chant
Going over and over
In my head
I need to get to bed

im back on the blogger train

I have been grounded and silly me had forgotten my password and blogger was the only thing I was allowed to do on the computer. Now, this might sound easy to just get my password sent to my email, but it is way more difficult then that. First, I had forgotten the email I had used and I have 9876543212 emails. I click forgotten password and type in my URL to my blog. It says it has sent it to my AIM.com email. Now, that narrows it down, but I'm not allowed to go anywhere besides blogger and also, I have 5463344 emails on AIM. I could just check every aim, but I'm not allowed at aim. I decided to just wait until I was ungrounded so I could search all emails as freely as I wanted. I may not be completely ungrounded, but I am allowed on the computer every once in a while. So here i am :] back on the blogger. I'm ready to blog my life.

Skipping School

April 9th, Wednesday was the first day I ever skipped school or even skipped a class. I first got on the bus and went to school around 9:15. I walked to my friend PJ's car with PJ and David inside. I got in and drove to David's house. There, we picked up Ryan who was in the shower so we waited for a bit for him to get out. When he got in the car, we drove to Lake Elle and walked around for a bit. We sat next to the bicycle shop and watched 2 puppies play. A very strange man with mix-match knee sock on. He started talking to us about rock star wifes killing their husbands, drinking 2 ounces of your own urine a day, and how he was getting paid from the government to be a creep and that he is allowed to scream out SATAN in public just to offend Christians. We quickly walked away as he was busy talking to someone else and drove away from Lake Elle. We then went to McDonald's. We sat around talking and decided to go pick up our friend Jackie. We drove to her house and waited for a while since she was in the shower, getting ready. When she was done, we drove to Movies 8. At Movies 8 we went and saw Juno. After the movie, we drove to the Library and got on the computers. We hung out there for a few hours. After that, PJ was going to drive me and David to church. On our way there, my mother,Inga kept texting me and calling me asking where I was. I then found out she knew that I hadn't gone to school and that I wasn't with Summer's Grandpa. I then knew, I was in DEEP SHIT! I got out of the car (we were at a red light) and walked to McDonald's which was right there. I sat there, thinking of all the shit is was going to be in and when I saw my mom drive up, I just broke down.

If Essay for Language Arts

If Essay
Raven Finch
If I could have a Skilled Art that I was amazing at, it would be a Writer. I am constantly amazed at how well Writers can be and I am definitely jealous of them. So, if I could have the chance to be as good as famous Writers, I would take that chance. One reason I would want to be a writer is because I also like to read a lot. Being able to know I could write as well as my favorite Author, one being Lemony Snicket, would be my dream come true.
If I became an amazingly skilled author, I would want to write a great series because I think those are the most fun to read. I would write about everything! I would want to my series to be fiction. I would want it to be about crazy people and odd situations. I would want my style of writing to attract all ages and to have my series be sad, funny, mysterious, anticipating, and most of all interesting!
I would also want to write a poetry book. Poetry has always amazed me, all kinds of poetry. But I really like rhyming poetry. I think it sounds cool. My dad wrote a book full of poetry when I was a little kid and my dad is my biggest role model! He amazes me. His poetry has so much meaning and if I had this amazing skill to by a writer, I would definitely want to be at least as good as him.
Another thing I think would be cool to be an author of would be a little kid’s book. I think writing a little kids book would be fun because I could just be random, yet teach them something. I think being able to find cool and fun ways to write a learning book for kids would be a fun and interesting thing to do. Plus, I would love to know I helped kids learn about something for the first time or maybe I helped them with something they did not understand. I would love to be a role model to younger kids.
I think being an author would be fun and creative. Writing this essay made me realize how much writing means to me, and what I should become in my future. But, if I want to be anywhere near good, I better be cool and stay in school!

Boredom

I have realized why, randomly, that I all of a sudden get all sad and depressed and start thinking of all the memories that I wish I still had. I have realized that whenever I am busy and having fun, I don't think of it as much. I realized that whenever I am bored, I think and when I think, I think of memories and when I think of memories that turn into sad memories, in some way and that is what makes me sad.

My cure to this all, keep busy and to listen to music. I realized that when ever I am listening to music, I think so much to the music that I don't remember my problems and just put myself in the lyrics. I love how music can make me happy when I am the saddest I have ever been. It amazes me. I don't REALLY understand it all. But I am just glad it does.

This is my theory on most of my depression. But I know I could not totally fix it with just music. I need to just, find out what can. or else I don't know what I am going to do....

DOG HAIRS

So, 2 Fridays ago, I went to the mall with Savannah. A group of people,
close to our age, In high school, asked us to come over to their
table as we walked by, we went over, but kept our distance. I knew
some of the people from Chelsea and shows and stuff. They asked me
and Savannah for what sounded like DOG HAIRS. When I heard them ask that, I looked over to Savannah in a confused look. She didn't know either. We didn't want to look like a fool and ask what they were, so we simply just walked away.

This past Friday I went to the mall with Heaven and Summer. We were just walking and having fun when the SAME PEOPLE asked us over. I told them they were prolly going to ask for DOG HAIRS. So, we went over and they asked for DOG HAIRS. Now, I heard DOG HAIRS, but it ended up that they were saying DOLL HAIRS. Now, again, What the Fuck is DOLL HAIRS. Well, we said no, and walked away. We started talking and we just guess it means DOLLARS. But we still are not sure...

My "About Me" on Myspace as of 1/15/08

Im Raven and at this point in my life, I am Never happy. I can be having the time of my life, and still, in the back of my mind, have to worse, most depressing feeling ever. I can get the best present, but I dont appreciate it like I should because I feel no matter how hard I try, or if I have all this new stuff, I will still not be happy, or that even if I have all this nice, new stuff, I will still not be good enough. I will still not be perfect. It's not my goal to be Perfect, I just want to be good enough to get what I want most. Im not going to tell you want I want most, because in the end, whoever reads this, it will probably be turned around, and I will be labeled. Fuck Labeling! Thats all that matters these days! Omg, she does not have the newest, best phone, she can not hang out with us. Fuck them. Fuck everyone. Fuck myself. Because even if I dont want to, I will still be a fucking labeler. I will still "read a book by its cover" because everyone does. And it takes alot of courage to not care at all, i mean not one bit, what people think about. And I personally, know no one who does not care one bit what people think. As you see, How can a teenager be happy in these days unless you have someone to love, or you have enough money to get all the new things. Even if you have the most amazing friends and you know you dont need money or love to make you happy, you know deep down you do. Because I know I do :/

Awkward Silence

I hate the weird awkward silences that have been happening in my family for about 4 months now. I hate how whenever I speak my mind, everyone just stares at me, having a dumb look on their face. THEN what I hate the worst is when they turn it around and make me feel like a horrible person, they make me feel like, I never do anything right, like its MY fault everything is wrong with this family. I hate when after a fight and your the only one on your side, you hear your other members talking about you, behind your back. YOUR OWN FAMILY doing this. Its the worst feeling in the world. I hate when my "family members" cry, and I feel like I was the one making them. I hate this feeling.

And it seems to be happening to me a lot.